The answer to that question is NO!
What happened wasn’t necessarily explained in my world…in my mind. It was acceptance.
To accept what was or what wasn’t.
To accept the unknown for the known.
To accept the why and the why nots.
The tears no longer flow for the matter that was. They flow for the matter of what I have done to myself for so long. They flow for the trust I feel for people who don’t trust me, and for the hurt that people don’t know they inflict. Although, it is quite possible that they know, but they just don’t think or rethink. They don’t know empathy for others or verbalize it. The ego makes you strong, but I see the weakness that ensues. To let someone hold value in your life (whether they are a friend, family member, associate, co-worker, etc) makes them a part of you…you allow them a place in the space of your mind, in a space of your soul.
Maybe this is too much. Maybe this is too much for you to comprehend. How can someone…like me or even anyone; allow this much LIFE to come in.
To be sssooo unguarded.
To be sssooo open to someone else.
To be sssooo feeling.
The new turn to make is numb. I can still see, but my eyes are closed. Life is still there and waiting to be loved, but love is no longer in my definition of what life is. I used to say live lovely when I was younger. I used to define everything with love. My family does these things for me because they love me. I want to do these things for this person or that person because I love them. I thought that was real love and happiness was born from it. Now I know that truth, is the love that no one feels anymore.
Did the World End in 2012? The answer is no…