30th
Heartsick…
So I think my heart is sick. I recently have been trying to get all this graduation stuff together and finding a job that will actally respond. Geez its been kind of hectic on my heart. On the other hand, my internship has been really moving me in the right direction because I love everybody and everything about it.
I still seem to feel like my heart is sick though. I’m nervous, I’m anxious, and kind of just in a wondering state. I feel like I’m happy about so many things, but I just want to talk it out. I want to share my thoughts to someone or something without feeling like I need to guard my heart from prying eyes. (They can’t see…not what I see at least.) I mean I encounter the best people, the best personalities, and the best opportunities (whether they are for me or not…). Gosh, I just want my soul to speak, but my heart says “no” because it’s so unsure as to what…as to what… the next second will be like. Its not even that there is sadness, but actually its excitement to just let everything go and be how its supposed to be.
Let everything be startled into its own melody…all by itself. Unchanged and pure. But the question is why is my heart sick? (She…”my heart” has no time to speak… but all the time to marvel and be completly wrapped up in a tunnel of emotions that are never effectively controlled.) Although the euphoria of the heart is bursting…the soul within just wants a little peep hole to whisper through.
